The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize