With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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