Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
