Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
