and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
