it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
