I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize