The maid of honor just puked.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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