Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize