Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
