Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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