fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Found the puke drawer
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
