I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
two words: eviction party
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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