billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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