Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Drake has all the answers
All the doctor said was why
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
