Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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