i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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