I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
