Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
