All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
