I wish i was in the wii world.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
