nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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