We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
