Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
