i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
