I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
