ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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