Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
