My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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