maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
