The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
