Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
