she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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