im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
