I am in a vortex of obligation.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
