Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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