she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
