He disabled his match.com account in front of me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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