my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
