my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
