I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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