i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
did i just pee glitter
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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