Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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