I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
