Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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