Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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