We're like a lot better than the average bears
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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