what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
