i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
