i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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