i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
