I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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