really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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