your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
