STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
