did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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