Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
