when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
