Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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