Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
