Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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