i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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