Too much gin, very little bucket
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
