I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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