i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
