So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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