Christians are straight up FREAKS
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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