Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
