We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
