the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
