Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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