We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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