when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
