Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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