She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
