Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
