I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
