this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
