my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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