And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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