y did u give ur computer a hand job?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
